What I saw on the tail ends of cars as I drove to Boone yesterday ...

... one was a bumper sticker that said "Uncle Sam Wants you to speak English!" If you stop and think about - it's a dumb message. To have any effect on its target audience, it should be in Spanish! (I also think the message itself is historically inaccurate, philosophically repugnant, morally unsound and generally icky).

And while I was heading through the most twisty and dangerous part of the trip up the mountain I noticed the vanity tag on the big boxy SUV in front of me:
DEATHBOX.

I broke several speeding laws getting around that one and as far away as possible.

The world's smallest horse...

... EVER! Also the world's cutest horse, and perhaps the world's biggest equine ham - apparently little Thumbelina loves the limelight.

Just click here. For some reason the picture of Thumbelina, all 17 inches of her, facing down the draft horse cracks me up.

A walk with the little lummox...

.... today down by the Riverside Park. He likes that place. It was a pretty day, still cool since the weather dropped so the last few days. That made him full of vim and vigor and he trotted on out to explore. We went around the skate board/bicycle track, across our favorite bridge over the ever scenic drainage ditch, and out past the baseball diamond. Did a turn around the field there with the lummox trying desperately to get away so he could chase after some animal's spoor across the fields. Probably deer. Got him hauled around to the banks of the Yadkin on the other side of the ball park.

The little beast doesn't seem to care, but I always enjoy looking at the river and its different moods. Today it was high and swift, looking like a pressed tin pattern enameled with olive drab. We were at a part of the river I had never been to before. On the other bank was just about the largest building I have ever seen in the land of Wikes. Made out of sheet of rusted metal it must have covered an acre and stood maybe three stories high. It had an opening in the side with old metal gates you might see on a barn. I don't know what it is, but suppose it has something to do with farming. At that point we were still down on the flood plane and there were no houses anywhere to be seen.

The lummox, of course, was indifferent until we came back out at the country ham warehouse. There was a large empty truck parked in front. It let off a foul smell. Lummox went to the back end of the truck, sniffed around on the ground and suddenly dropped his head onto the ground and began to roll around in the damp dirt. I hauled him out of there as fast as possible.

We met a man mowing the lawn of the warehouse who made over how 'purty that dog is'. There's no accounting for taste. He said that the ground behind the truck probably had salt and blood and other nasty stuff from the hams that had run off into the ground. That was what the dog was so happy about and wanted to smear all over himself. There's no accounting for taste.

But for some reason the little lummox seems to adore me.

Charity night at the Café Portofina ...

.... was the first Tuesday we all didn't go to the Mellow Mushroom since I can remember (which at my age and the way my mind is going may not say much). It was charity night at the Café Portofina so a portion of the night's take was devoted to charity. There were lots of volunteers helping the regular staff deal with the crowd, including the notorious 'Watauga Cabbage Queens'. They came complete with shamrock green dresses, elbow high white gloves, outrageous red wigs and dripping with bling crafted from exquisitely tacky plastic. One turned out to by Mulan's mother's doctor!

Mulan and her mother were both there, and her friend Maeráed with her mom Máire. It is always fun to see how Mulan and Maeráed interact. Their personalities are so different, and Mulan is almost eight years older. That doesn't stop Maeráed from trying to do everything Mulan does. What is interesting is that now that Maeráed is a little older Mulan seems to enjoy her tagging along. I am not sure little boys would do that.

Anyway, I had a great time, Cabbage Queens and all.

A great meal here in the Port City ....

... when Carmen and I finally decided to go out to dinner. Since it was a very Spanish hour for the evening meal, after 9 pm, we decided to go to a new restaurant called La Viscaya for Spanish food and tapas.

As soon as we walked in we ran into an old friend and her husband and mother. We hadn't seen them since the day we got married! Linda and her mother are old Ybor Spanish (if you know what that means you know a whole lot about the unnamed port city here in the south).

Across from us was a group of 14 middle-aged to elderly Spanish men, all speaking Spanish with that unmistakable accent from Spain. Carmen likes to poke fun at it. One of the older men, with a mane of white hair and a beak like nose had the classic old Iberian profile - he could do a great stand in for Don Quixote. It was wonderful to hear the Spanish accents, with the Spanish faces and the old world gestures.

Almost everyone else in the restaurant was either Spanish or Cuban (except me!). The food - we had four separate tapas - was wonderful, especially the atun and calamari. And with half a pitcher of sangria for the two of us Carmen got a little tipsy, shall we say. Meanwhile, the Spanish gentlemen were getting completely besotted and started singing. Oddly, they tried singing Cuban and Mexican songs - "Mani" and "Adelita" and "Mananitas". The last is a birthday song Mexicans like to sing.

As the place started to close up the Spaniards began to disappear out the door two or three at a time. Finally it was just Don Quixote and two friends sipping real cafe. Then they left. I thought it was awfully early for real Spaniards to be calling it quits.

When we left, there they all were, out on the porch, puffing on cigars and going strong. Carmen thought this was cute. But by this point I think she thought everything was cute, so I got her home.

I hope our blog friend Ana in London reads this!

Adios.

The airport at Charlotte as seen by a Yankee ...

... Ever wonder how foreigners regard us? He's very sweet about it.

There is a specter haunting me here in Wilkes ....

... and it's getting a little creepy. I first saw her on my cereal box, smiling cheerfully at me. Then I noticed her on my box of crackers - still smiling. Soon I could see her everywhere, especially in the grocery store - there she was. Everywhere! Relentlessly cute and perky, on cereal boxes, crackers, cookies - on magazine covers, in ads, on cookbook covers. Everywhere. I can not avoid her.

So I just want to know one thing. Who the hell is Rachel Ray and who did she have to sleep with to get this kind of exposure?

An important announcement from the Episcopal Church ...

... since I am not in the land of Wilkes right now I don't know how St Paul's is reacting to this, but at our last meeting of the Episcopal Book Club we discussed the future of the Church on exactly this issue. The international Anglican Communion has been very very unhappy with us American Episcopalians because of our stand on homosexual bishops and priest. Consequently they have taken, or have attempted to take, us to the woodshed on several occasions.

That is no longer an option, according to a 'communication' of the The House of Bishops of the Episcopal Church meeting in Texas. Here is a taste of it:

With great hope that we will continue to be welcome in the councils of the family of Churches we know as the Anglican Communion, we believe that to participate in the Primates' Pastoral scheme [aka 'the woodshed'] would be injurious to The Episcopal Church for many reasons.

First, it violates our church law in that it would call for a delegation of primatial authority not permissible under our Canons and a compromise of our autonomy as a Church not permissible under our Constitution.

Second, it fundamentally changes the character of the Windsor process and the covenant design process in which we thought all the Anglican Churches were participating together.

Third, it violates our founding principles as The Episcopal Church following our own liberation from colonialism and the beginning of a life independent of the Church of England.

Fourth, it is a very serious departure from our English Reformation heritage. It abandons the generous orthodoxy of our Prayer Book tradition. It sacrifices the
emancipation of the laity for the exclusive leadership of high-ranking Bishops.
And, for the first time since our separation from the papacy in the 16th century, it replaces the local governance of the Church by its own people with the decisions of a distant and unaccountable group of prelates.

Most important of all it is spiritually unsound.

If you are interested in the Episcopal Church in America, you might want to read the whole thing.

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Remember the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin?

No, I thought not. Remember the Sacagawea dollar coin? Both flopped. Mainly because the treasury refused to call in all paper $1 bills, and so absolutely no pressure was put on vending companies to upgrade their vending machines.

And the banking industry itself paid no attention to it. The last time I went into the State Employees Credit Union here in Wilkesboro to ask for a role of Sacagawea dollars --
they didn't know what I was talking about!

So the US Mint is coming up with yet another dollar coin for your entertainment.

And if you want to read all about it, along with a brief history of coinage from day one, click here. If you are not interested in coins, click here.


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We are here in the unnamed port city to our south ....

and I am sorely disappointed. The weather has been beautiful - even the little lummox is perky and sassy on his walks. We saw a great movie, 'Lives of Others,' at the gorgeous old 'Port City' theatre, we have had a nice dinner with some old friends with scintillating conversation.

Humph. Nothing to complain about.

Yet.

Carmen and I are off for the unnamed port city ...

... to the south. So it will be a few days before I post anything new.

It's easy to talk to the animals...

... if you have an animal that really wants to communicate. Mosby the cat sure does. Here is a transcript of a conversation Carmen has almost every morning at the breakfast table with her.

Mosby: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Carmen: Oh, there's the pretty girl! How is the girl? Such a pretty girl!

Mosby: I want something!

Carmen: Oh you're so cute!

Mosby: Hey! Hey! Hey! I want something!

Carmen: OK girl. Show me what you want.

Mosby: I want something!

Mosby then walks back towards the bedroom.

If she stops in the hall and stares first at her food bowl and then at Carmen:

Mosby: I want that!

Carmen: Oh, does the girl want her turkey? [Gerber's turkey baby food-yummy]

Mosby: I want!!!!

If she keeps on going back to the bedroom, where she hops up on the bed and ensconces herself in the middle of her favorite blue blanket and looks expectantly at Carmen:

Mosby: I want this!

Carmen, stroking the little beast: Oh, does the girl want to be petted?

Mosby: mmmmrrrmmrrmrrrrrrrmmmmmrr


Mosby is awfully articulate for a four legged brute.

It has been a long day here in the land of Wilkes...

... because after watching "300" at the movies last night with the gang I became sick, and was up for most of the night. I have felt pretty sick all day, and I will spare you the details. Let's just say I feel drained. It's very late so I won't be writing the half dozen posts I was going to put up on Not Mayberry. There are some reviews of the movie and the history involved if you want to see them over on Sententciae (click on the blogger profile).

In the meantime it is nearly 3 am and I am going to bed.

General news from the land of Wilkes ...

... is basically, nothing new. I just want to type a bit more on my new machine. My old computer had gotten so much cat fur under the keys that it was skipping, adding letters at odd times, and in general making blogging difficult. I blame all my spelling problems on unnamed staffers who shed their fur on my computer, and I am checking into rehab tomorrow now that I realize how badly I have failed my wife, my family, my dog... uh, wait.

Sorry, that's the canned congressional newsconference boilerplate I had hanging around.

The news: Mosby the Kat's huts are getting more elaborate. The last one actually consisted of two blankets and had a little tent flap at the door so she could peer out at the world. Ben is still being Ben which is impossible to describe unless you have seen her.... and since absolutely no one has seen her for more than 2.5 seconds ... you'll just have to take my word for it.

The little lummox now thinks it is simply part of his job as The Dog to bark late at night at any movement he imagines out in the yard, assuming that I will come out and tell him what a good dog he is for guarding the house. We've gotta get another squirt bottle - it was the only thing he feared.

He has also discovered that a big fat groundhog has moved in down the street and is busy digging what looks like the Boston Subway in the field there. Groundhog likes to set outside sunning himself until he sees lummox going into his famous killer crouch, then he leisurely wanders over to his hole, waits until lummox gets a bit closer, and then disappears.

That's all the news I want to mention tonight.

I think I'll call the groundhog Blaine. That's a nice name.

I have now completed my move to the new computer...

.... mostly. A few things to get used to, a few complications to figure out with the software, but I am not on my new Dell Inspiron computer, with the big pretty screen, Spider Solitaire, and now ... DSL. It will no longer take me an hour every morning just to go through my e-mail and the Washington Post online.

The DSL company sent me the modem, filters and cables a week ago, but I still couldn't connect to the internet even though I was following the very sketchy instructions as best I could. This afternoon I called Tech Support and only had to wait 25 minutes to talk to someone. While I waited, playing Spider Solitaire, I kept hearing their recorded message that they would pay customers $25 to talk a friend into signing up. It doesn't seem to have accorded to the bright lights who run the company that hiring and training enough personnel to keep the waits for service under 10 minutes might be a better use of their money. But I digress.

Turns out that there was one tiny little piece of info that the instructions had not bothered to tell me, and once that was taken care of, it worked.

Now that I have all this fancy equipment, and it will not take me hours every evening to play with the Blogs, you might be hearing more from me!