Carmen is really, really upset....

... and I think I should alert Homeland Security so they don't mistake the results as a terrorist attack. On the other hand, "If a little Cuban explodes in the woods, and there is no TV camera to record it, did it really happen?"

It seems that she discovered a trailer to a new movie called "The Seeker" which is actually a movie of one of her favorite series, The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper. She says she is "disgusted," "revolted," and has "her nickers in a twist" (her exact words) with what they have done to it.

The novel is set in a little village in Cornwall of the 1930s where you can cut the Celtic aura with a claymore and the thought of Arthurian figures moving backwards and forwards in time is not ludicrous. The American version is set, as all Hollywood movies must be, in California of the here and now, where magic and mystery are just one more sales gimmick. The hero is now a typical product of Hollywood groupthink: a white, upper middle class kid cruising the mall while he has cute and incredibly clever repartee with his brothers. Gag me with a spoon.

She is demanding why in the name of all that is sacred these idiots would do such a thing to the story. I've tried to explain to her that these are the usual gang of unsophisticates who think drinking latte from Starbucks, eating at a "Mexican" restaurant, and driving a hybrid Hummer makes them cosmopolitan. They are convinced that Americans have to see American kids acting just like American kids in all the other American kid stories that have been regurgitated by all the philistine jerks who ever penned a line for La La Land. I think they are dreaming of another "Back to the Future," but without the cleverness.

Meanwhile I may want to take the ol' dog out for a walk, a very long walk, until she calms down.

Though I can't say she doesn't have a point.

I want a Smart Car for Christmas ...

... so I better start dropping hints now. What is it? A little car originally made by the Smart Company and Mecedes Benz. This will give you an idea of what the European version looked like. It has been sold in Europe and Canada for years now but despite numerous teases has never come to the US (unless you paid big bucks to convert a supposedly cheap Euro car into a street legal US car). Supposedly it goes on sale first of next year - and in a week or two some test models are coming to Charlotte.

Its attraction? It's cute as a doodlebug, can park anywhere, and gets nearly 60 mpg. What was the holdup for the American version? Don't know but apparently they had to tweak the design for American taste so that it is 6 inches bigger and geared properly to get 41 mpg.

Who says American car engineers have lost their edge!

My drive to work the other day ...

... was oddly relaxing. My experiments with cutting down on gas consumption by smart driving continues. The last tank of gas I got 33.8 mpg, which is pretty good considering that before I started this experiment I was only getting about 27 mpg, exactly the EPA rating for a Suburu Impreza.

I celebrated by taking the longer but prettier route to work today. Probably wasted a couple of tablespoons of fuel, but it was the start of my relaxing drive.

Which reminded me of my friend English Will taking his old Mercedes Benz to the filling station for its weekly injection of biofuel. Will and the other local biofuel users are determined to help the environment.

In line waiting for the very "green" biofuel was ... a HumVee!

That little upset in Michigan...

... well sure, after I post something sarcastic about the ol' school its football team goes out and does something remarkable. They beat Michigan in the last seconds of the game. The efforts of the kids on the team restores my faith in collegiate sports almost. I'll have to check and see if any of them are in one of my classes.

The best thing about an upset of this magnitude is going back and reading the smug statements made before the game. My favorite so far is this one from King Kaufman on Salon.com in his column: "It's college football beat-down season as powerhouses avoid one another, schedule patsies and wish they could play middle schools." Here's one of his examples of an absolutely hopeless mismatch that is guaranteed to be boring:

More than half of the teams in this year's preseason rankings are perennials. An Oklahoma-Michigan game scheduled in 2001 would have been a safe bet to be a marquee game in '07.

It might have turned out to be a dud. But then, what, Michigan vs. Appalachian State -- that's this Saturday at noon EDT -- was a surefire humdinger?

Just in case you missed this boring game, and because I ought to make up for that last sarky post, here is a video of what the announcer screams is "One of the greatest upsets in sports history."

It makes this little bit of Wolverine pre-game smugness all the more delicious. After an informative run down on Appstate, including the history of its football helmets, the Michiganzone writer concludes in anticipation:

The Game – This is a game Michigan can’t win. Oh, sure, they’ll score more points than AppState, but no matter what the final score is, no Wolverine fan is going to feel good. Win by 40 and what’s the big deal, so they beat a I-AA, sorry, Champion Subdivision team. What bullies. Struggle against the best Champion Subdivision team and win by a touchdown and watch the Wolverines fall in the polls. This is not the weakest team Michigan will play this year. This would probably not be the worst team in the Big Ten. But a victory, no matter the margin, won’t look good or even be satisfying. MICHIGAN 42, APPALACHIAN STATE 23.

Notice how the question of how good or even satisfying a LOSS would be never crosses his keyboard.

Ah, fortuna.