Conversations with Máeráed ...

... a few weeks ago I was with Máeráed out on the deck of the Mellow Mushroom, sometimes called "Máeráed's Personal Pizza Palace," when a friend of mine, who by coincidence was the first human (other than the two people involved) to learn that Carmen and I were engaged. By an even greater coincidence Máeráed's mother was the next person to know. Anyway, this friend comes up and sees me with Máeráed and says "Your grand daughter?"

"Oh no," I say, "a faux niece."

To be friendly he turns to Máeráed, who had turned seven two months earlier, and asks "Well, you must be, what, eight?"

I'm almost eight," Máeráed pipes up.

Then she glares at me when I burst out laughing.

A bit later she grows bored so takes me off to the grassy area alongside the Mellow Mushroom. We sit down and began to chat while we select ammo for our weekly "Twig Hurling Fight." In response to something important we are talking about she says "I'm not really your niece."

I say "I know, but I am your best friend."

She mulls that over for a bit and then says regretfully "Well, not my best friend."

"OK, then who is your best friend?" I am expecting her to say Nelson, or Magalee or one of her other school buddies.

"My teachers."

"YOUR TEACHERS!!?? THEY CAN'T BE YOUR BEST FRIENDS!!"

"Why not?"

"Because they're PROFESSIONALS!"

'Oh."

I began to feel as if my leg is being pulled. Thus I learned that it is best not to call a notional niece a "faux niece" if she is there to hear you. Especially is she is clever enough to know exactly what 'faux' means.


btw, have you read "The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie" yet?